September 12, 2016“I’m obsessed with your face,” she said pulling on the center of her bikini top. I knew it was a practiced lie she told to pass the time, a foibled fib to give her a reason to giggle gregariously. That didn’t mean I didn’t like hearing it. She was sweet and kind. Kind like a baby deer stepping alone into unknown territory. She smelled like warm vanilla on a calm winter night.The face of an angel, about to fall from grace, you know the type. Heart-shaped lips, doe-eyed, soft, smooth skin. Walked like a sinking swan; gliding on glass as cracks spread from under her like a long-reaching web.
“You know where an old man like me can forget his troubles?” I said with heavy exhale.
“You ain’t some kind of creep are you, Mister?”
“Shit, do I look that old?”
“My dad’s your age, maybe. Then again, who knows? That bastard left us a long time ago. Can’t say I blame him–Mom’s a big old twat. I wouldn’t be able to stand that cunt if I was him.”
“Right. So, can you point me in the right direction, maybe?”
“The right direction? Hell, Mister, I don’t even know where the hell I am half the time,” she said right before the bottle hit her front teeth and she began to guzzle.
“Does your mother know you drink?”
“Man, you are such a dork. You gonna tell me it’s bad and all that, aintcha? Shoot, Mister, ain’t much to do around here. My mom is the one who buys me the stuff. Says if I clean house and do dishes from time to time, she’ll buy me the booze. She can be okay sometimes, you know?”
“No, I don’t know.”
“Bet you had it good growing up. Parents together and all that. I’m not complaining, don’t get me wrong, but…man, sometimes I wish I could disappear.”
“Why is that?”
“It’s like I’m a ghost. Nobody sees me. I mean, they see me, but they don’t, know what I mean?”
“Have you ever considered time travel?”
“What the hell? You’re not some weirdo, are you? I mean, I’m pretty weird too and all, but you’re out there, man. My best friend, Sherrie, says I should stop talking to weird dudes. I end up liking older guys. Guys my age are pretty stupid, you know? Maybe it’s cuz I want him to drive me away in a fancy car. Take me to the beach.”
“You like the beach?”
“Who doesn’t?”
“Some people don’t.”
“Those people are just trying to be unique. They can’t possibly not like it. It’s nature and shit. It’s beautiful, man. And the sound of the waves crashing…wow. Mother nature or God or whatever, I like it. I like it a lot.”
“What else do you like?”
“Stuff. I mean, I don’t know. I like smoking weed with Sherrie. Man, we get real toasted and laugh at the dumbest things. We have a blast. As long as we are together, we have a really good time. Sometimes I am jealous of her. I can tell she’s jealous of me, and I have no clue why she would be–everybody loves her.”
“You love her?”
“Woah, dude, that’s personal stuff. I mean, I guess…as a best friend I do. I mean, if she dies, I would cry for weeks. She’s my best friend. Like a sister, you know? Man, why do you want to know this stuff?”
“I just want to know you. Listen to you, if for a short time before I go.”
“You’re not gonna kidnap me are you?” she said smiling.
“I wouldn’t do that.”
“Maybe some girls want that, you know?”
“I don’t do that.”
“That’t too bad, Mister, I wouldn’t kick or scream much if you did.”
“I want you to tell me more.”
“Not much to tell really. I like running around and having a good time. Sherrie makes me laugh. We get into trouble and stuff. It’s pretty neat.”
“How do you know you’re alive?”
“What is this, Mister…I mean really? This some kind of weird sex thing for you or something. I mean, do you get off on these questions. Because if that’s your thing, you can count me out.”
“I am simply curious.”
“Shit, I don’t know. See…why’d you have to do that? Now I’m gonna be thinking about it all day. Sherrie would have an answer in a flash.”
“I’m asking you. How do you know you’re not a ghost?”
“I don’t, I guess. Maybe it’s my fault, you know?”
“How is it your fault?”
“I feel dead inside. I don’t want to live. I want to be an animal. To curl up in a ball and sleep under a tree. Eat fruit and berries. I want to dance. I want to sing.”
“You have any songs you have written?”
“Hell no. I sing songs on the radio. I like the ones with a catchy melody. Man, having a good song really gets me going.”
“What about boys?”
“What about them?”
“You like anybody?”
“Yeah, but most of them don’t like me.”
“Why not?”
“I’m too wild, maybe. I wish I could date a tiger. A black tiger, maybe. Do those exist? Not a male or female…just with no parts, you know?”
“I do.”
“What about you? What are you into? What gets you going?”
“That’s not important.”
“Why not?”
“I came here for you.”
“Well, tell me before you go, will you please?”
“What do you want to know before I go?”
“What are you into?”
“Ghosts.”
