April 14, 2017“What’s the matter, Gidget?”
“I don’t know. It’s the times, I suppose. Would you look at that man over there? He should be ashamed of himself.”
“Which one?”
“The one with the wig, for christ’s sake.”
“Will you lower your voice, woman. What on earth is the matter with you?”
“Do you not remember the words of Pastor Slanders?”
“What about them?”
“By gosh, do you ever pay attention at church?”
“Of course I do…sometimes.”
“You are a trifling man, Alfred. I don’t know about you sometimes.”
“Well, it’s just so boring in there. I only go to make you happy. Besides after John died, well, you are my only reminder of him.”
“Yes, my late husband…may the lord keep him.”
“Keep him where?”
“In his grace! What do yo mean ‘where’?” she said looking at her lipstick in a tiny mirror.
“I have never believed that church stuff. I have gone all my life to make my folks happy and then, I guess it became a habit. Just a thing to do.”
“Alfred!”
“Well, it’s true. I don’t believe all the nonsense in that damn book.”
“What on–“
“So that man over there likes to wear wigs, big deal. I see all the men at church drinking all Sunday long after service in their front yards. They watch pornographic movies, they’re gluttons, they gamble, they all put their pants on one leg at a time…your brother for example is a complete pig.”
“Leave Ronald out of this.”
“Its true. Just take a look at that fellow,” he said quietly leaning into her ear and holding on to to the pole next to his seat.
“Yeah, what about him?”
“I have seen that fellow ride this bus for years. Never caused any problems. Never seen him drunk or smoking cigarettes or bothering anybody no how.”
“He’s a deviant for christ’s sake.”
“Why? Because he wears women’s clothing? What the hell is wrong with it? I don’t like it, but that don’t mean it ain’t no good. I don’t like chocolate pudding, sure as hell don’t mean I should start hating folks who like to eat it.”
“Alfred, I am appalled. I’m starting to wonder if you have your fair share of questionable living.”
“Ok, ok, let’s not get excited. Take Joan of Arc for example.”
“Well, what about her?”
“Next stop, Fountain and Fairfax,” came the driver’s voice through static speakers.
“Well, she wasn’t just burned at the stake for being some supposed witch, you know?”
“How do you mean?”
“She was convicted of dressing like a man.”
“That woman was a saint.”
“In those days for a woman to dress like a man was a capital offense.”
“Oh, get out.”
“That book you like so much says it somewhere in Deuternonomy. Says something like, “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth to a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the lord thy god.”
“Don’t you dare talk about her that way, I tell you she was a saint!”
“How was she a saint if she was an abomination? Your bible calls her an abomination.”
“Well…I’m sure I don’t know. Are you sure about all this?”
“Poor gal, she spent her last night with her five English guards and the next morning, she was ready for her fate. She rescued her country from the invading English, being a cross-dresser the whole time.”
“This is very upsetting. And why did you want me to join you on this bus ride so badly? You were very persistent, Alfred.”
“That cross-dresser fellow that got off a few blocks back…”
“Yes?”
“John knew him.”
“What?!”
“They were friends, Gidget. I told him not to come over and talk to me while you were with me.”
“They didn’t…?”
“Of course not. He was very much in love with you. He simply had a think for broad’s clothes.”
“My lord…all those golfing days?”
“Bogus.”
“Jesus. How did I not see it?”
“He knew you wouldn’t understand. He felt subhuman about it. But Larry, that was the fellow in here a bit ago, he accepted him. So, naturally, they became friends. He could be free with him. You should’ve seen him, Gidget, he was so happy in them wacky heels. At first it blew my mind…but, I loved him–he was my best friend. Hell, we were in the service together. I got used to it. And just seeing him happy, well…made me happy for him. Hell, I ain’t never been that happy myself. Not since before Arlene passed.”
“I don’t know what to say…”
“He wanted to tell you. He was just afraid you’d leave him.”
“That damn fool. I would’ve never left his side.”
“1431…bus 1431 is the next bus and should be here shortly, folks. This is our last stop: L Street,” said the bus driver through the speakers.
“Well, Gidget, the ride’s over.”
“And what a ride,” she said under her breath, quietly.
∞
